I Really Suck At This Time Management Thing

Why does it seem that I only think of updating my blog just before University goes back? I have two more days left of my break and then Trimester 2 begins, and I only just realised that I hadn't written anything since May. Jeez. Hopeless, to say the least, but my head has been so full that I haven't really had a chance to sit down and just write in a really long time. So I best get to it, I say!


These past few months have been really testing, both physically and emotionally. With University constantly throwing me more readings and assignments to complete (and my darn conscience won't let me slack off, despite everything!), and with my pain being so intense, I have been really struggling to get through my day to day life in one piece. I work so hard at putting up a good front, smiling and trying to look like I'm coping, so as to avoid having to explain how I truly feel. I guess I'm just worried that if someone asked me how I am and I answer honestly, that I might not be able to keep myself together. But the combination of stress, lack of sleep, and constant pain is wearing me down. It's tough, because on one hand University is so stressful, but on the other hand it's what keeps me sane! Why is everything so complicated?


Tomorrow I'm meeting up with my friend, Ella, who also suffers from constant pain as a teenager. We try to meet up every month or so to give ourselves the opportunity to relax, and for a couple of hours, not have to pretend that we're ok. The effect of spending time with someone, whether online or in person, who gets this pain is amazing. The simple reminder that there are other people who understand what it's like to wake up and to be in so much pain you wish you hadn't, is so powerful. It's what keeps me hanging on to life, and helps me through all the challenges I face. Thank you to all my friends, both in the chronic pain community and outside of it, for keeping me going over all these years. It hasn't been easy, and without you, I wouldn't have made it past the first year of having CRPS.


I had so many other things to say tonight, but my mind has just gone completely blank! So I'll take this as a sign from my body to close up shop and curl up in bed with my cats. Love to everyone out there feeling sore and exhausted xx


Playlist

• Can't Stand The Rain - The Rescues
• The Edge of Glory - Lady GaGa
• Rolling In The Deep - Adele
• Wait - Jason Webley
• Going Home - Kim Boekbinder
• It's Love - The Jane Austen Arugment
• Talking To The Moon - Bruno Mars
• Coming Home - Gwyneth Paltrow